


Almost Home

by Brightest_Moonstone



Category: Sly Cooper (Video Games)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 16:37:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 17,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18102341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brightest_Moonstone/pseuds/Brightest_Moonstone
Summary: A collection of ficlets, prompts, AUs and vignettes that are too short to warrant their own fic.Mostly cross posted from tumblr





	1. A Block Too Far

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by A Few Blocks Over by Ironic Snap (aka @extraneousdominomask.)

“Carmelita give me your hand.” The Inspector stretched toward her. The cable of his grapple straining, his normally perfect hair whipping around his head.  
Behind her there was the terrifying screech of metal on metal as the paradox engine began to fail.

She could hear Neyla screaming, going nuts in her earpiece. “Carmelita you have to get out of there!”

The thief didn’t need to be told twice.

“We need to go now.” Cooper was yelling over the catastrophic wailing of the paradox engine. He was still reaching for her, eyes wide with fear.

Carmelita reached, too far she’d have to jump. Even as the ground crumbled beneath her feet she began to run. 

She leapt.

The paradox engine exploded.

The world went white….

Carmelita woke with a pounding headache and a sky darkening to twilight above her.

She groaned loudly, well she wasn’t dead and nothing appeared to be broken that was a bonus. Her cane was even still in her hand, her hair had come free of its plait and she realised as she ran a hand across her face that she’d lost her mask.

Goddamn it! She needed to find another before…. The Inspector!

Where was Cooper? He’d been trying to save her.

She surged to her feet and stopped cold. The Eiffel tower was twinkling merrily on the skyline as the blue of evening descended.

“…Paris? How did I get to…?” She’d been in Cairo. “Neyla?” She tapped her earpiece but there was only a faint crackle of static.

Okay, electronics knocked out fair enough after being blown up. Didn’t explain how she found herself on a rooftop halfway around the world though. This was completely loco… she took a deep breath to steady herself. One step at a time her mother had always told her, one very small step at a time.

First up… how to get off this roof. She stood at the edge assessing the sturdiness of a crumbling drainpipe when on the street below she saw an ostentatious blue van complete with flame decals on the sides pass full bore around the corner.

Carmelita couldn’t help but chuckle to herself, “gee they look like they’ve nicked something.”

It was at that moment that a blue and grey blur crashed into her. Carmelita was knocked sideways onto the roof, she looked up to see a raccoon picking himself up.

“Sorry, sorry.” He was saying groping for his fallen hat. “I didn’t see you there… Carmelita?”

Carmelita raised a brow, “do I know you?”

“How did you get in front of me?” He gestured vaguely over his shoulder with a gleaming hooked cane. A design that she knew but this couldn’t be… too young… too casual… too cocksure.

“Cooper?” 

“What’s with the get up?” They both asked at the same time.

Then incredibly, impossibly another voice, her voice, Carmelita’s own voice echoed across the Parisian rooftops.

“GET BACK HERE COOPER!!!”

The Not-Inspector Cooper glanced nervously behind him. “Sorry Miss Doppleganger believe me I’d love to stay and chat but it’s time I left.”

But Carmelita wasn’t about to let this tiny slip of familiarity (as different and crazy as it was) get away from her.

“No wait.” She grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt and pulled him sharply against her. “It is you isn’t it? Sly Cooper?”

“Umm yessss…?”

Oh god was he blushing?

A bright blue-white ball of electric energy zipped over their heads, close enough to make Carmelita’s hair crackle.

Cooper shook himself free of her and then with a final confused look between her and where the shot had come from took off running.

Carmelita followed close at his heels.

She heard that voice, the one that sounded unnervingly like hers calling out. Mostly threats and then ‘stop in the name of the law’. She barely had time to process the sheer absurdity of this before Cooper rendezvoused with blue van she’d seen earlier.

Carmelita didn’t miss a beat, following Cooper through the open passenger side window. She landed in the Not-Inspector’s lap.

“Punch it Murray. What the f…” Cooper choked as Carmelita grinned cheekily up at him.

“Evening.” She said.

The getaway driver hit the gas and the van screamed away up the street. He shot a glance over and let out a terrified squawk, “uhhh… Sly?”

Cooper had both his hands up, raised away from her staring like she’d pointed a gun at him. “Don’t ask me pal, I promise I’m as confused as you.”

“What’s going on?” A third voice chimed in. “Carmelita is gaining on us… AHHHHH…” Whatever else the voice from the back had to say was lost to panicked screaming.

“Bentley, Bentley breathe, breathe for me pal okay?” Cooper twisted awkwardly around so he could look into the back of the van.

‘Bentley’ was a small wheelchair bound tortoise, actually come to think of it wasn’t one of Cooper’s support team called ‘Bentley’?

She tried to pay attention during Neyla’s slideshows but honestly she never had eyes for much past Cooper and her prizes.

“Sly how is Carmelita chasing us and in the van?” The driver asked.

“It’s some kind of trap.” Bentley was panicking. “That must be a decoy behind us.”

Cooper peered into the wing mirror, “I don’t think so pal. Carmelita was definitely behind me on the roof, she doesn’t let anyone else use that shock pistol of hers. And that is her car gaining on us.”

“Sounds like it’s time for some of The Murray’s evasive maneuvering.” Murray, the driver jerked the wheel and the van went tearing down a side street.

“That doesn’t explain her.” Bentley pointed at Carmelita. 

“I assure you gentlemen this is as strange for me as it is for you.” Carmelita spoke up for the first time. “A few hours ago I was creeping into the Natural History Museum in Cairo and instead of the Sceptre of Bast I find some crazy machine, get blown up and wake up in Paris of all places.”

The three men exchanged glances, 

“Uh come again?” Cooper asked.

Carmelita turned and looked out the window at the small, noisy armada of Interpol agents and gendarmes following behind the van.

“Maybe explanations can wait until we’re not being chased by the police.” She said.

Cooper looked at Bentley, “well she’s got a point.

Bentley sighed, pushing up his glasses to scrub his hands over his face, “we are going to regret this aren’t we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **BONUS**
> 
> Thief!Carmelita, Sly, and Inspectors Fox and Cooper all meet up to discuss how they're going to get Thief!Carmelita and Inspector Cooper home.
> 
> **Thief!Carmelita** : “Okay this is going to get real confusing real fast so I suggest we use codenames. From now on you can address me as Eagle One.
> 
> My Neyla is Codename-‘Been There Done That’.
> 
> Sly is 'Currently Doing That’.”
> 
> ***Sly and Thief!Carmelita high five***
> 
> **Thief!Carmelita** : “Inspector Fox is Codename- 'If I Had To Pick A Cop’.”
> 
> ***She winks at Inspector Fox***
> 
> **Thief!Carmelita** : “And Inspector Cooper will be…. 'Eagle Two’.”
> 
> **Inspector Cooper** : *very quietly* “Oh thank God.”


	2. A Better Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SlyFox au - two miserable people meeting at a wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a prompt from IronicSnap

“Bride or groom?” A gorgeous vixen in a yellow dress asked him.

Sly turned to her blinking, “sorry?”

“Did the bride invite you or the groom?” She repeated, her words slightly slurred, it probably had something to do with the whole bottle of champagne she was holding.

“Oh groom. He’s an old school friend, you?”

“Bride.” She said slumping into the chair beside him. “She’s my cousin. Dear, darling, can do no wrong Lola.” She tried to smile but it was stiff, too many teeth, much closer to a sneer. “You know when I told my family that I was accepted into the academy, lovely Lola barely let me finish my sentence before she cuts over me and says ‘ooh Carm isn’t that wonderful. I’ve gotten an early scholarship to medical school so we’ll both be helping people.’ All she has ever wanted to do was one up me and now I have to listen to every member of my goddamn family laughing up their sleeves that I’ll die an old maid because my younger, prettier cousin has found herself 'such a nice boy’ and I’m 25 and single.” She took a long pull from her bottle. “You wanna know why I came over?”

Sly smiled at her, “enlighten me please.”

“Because you look like the only person at this shitshow who is having less fun than me.” She offered him the bottle, “what’s your deal?”

Sly shrugged taking a swallow of champagne. “I guess I don’t know why I’m here. Howie and I were never really that close and he didn’t invite my foster brothers so I wasn’t going to come at all but they encouraged me, Howie even said on the invite I wouldn't get a better offer than a night out with free food and an open bar but…” He took another drink. “My brothers are the only family I’ve got, events like this just remind me of what I’ve lost.” He passed the bottle back.

Instead of drinking from it she placed it carefully in the middle of the table and hailed a passing waiter. “Black coffee please.”

“Yes miss.”

She turned back to Sly. “Carmelita.” She said.

“Sly.” He says, “Sly Cooper.”

Carmelita leaned forward on an elbow, “want to get out of here?”

Sly swallowed, “…yes.”

She grinned picking up the coffee cup that has been placed beside her and sculling it. Sly winced sympathetically. She slammed the mug down on the table. “Are you a local?”

“Yes.”

“Perfect. Now the way I see it I can stay here, get drunk and cause a scene by having sex somewhere entirely inappropriate or you and I can get the heck out of here, call your brothers get some pizza into us and have a real party.” She cocked her head. “Sound good?”

Sly laughed. “Sounds amazing.”

She got to her feet only slightly unsteady and kicked off her heels. “Let’s blow this joint.”

Sly took her outstretched hand and the two of them ran, out past staring, whispering guests and Carmelita's frowning relatives. 

And as they passed the open mouthed bride and groom, Sly paused to clap Howie on the shoulder,   
"sorry to be cutting out early man," he said. "It's just that... I've had a better offer."

With that the pair them, laughing ran out of the hall and down the stairs.

Out, away, _free_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they end up going back to Sly’s place and Carmelita refuses to wear her cocktail dress for one minute longer so she ends up in one of Sly’s shirts and an old pair of his pyjama pants and Sly’s just sitting there looking at her watching her shove pizza into her face wearing his clothes, snort laughing at something Bentley and Murray have said and he thinks 'oh god I think I'm in love'


	3. In Time

At first Carmelita thought she was going mad. That she was stressed from work and addled from lack of sleep. She thought maybe she was forgetting things, like where she’d left her phone or her keys. She’d find her favourite mug in a different place or her shoes never where she left them.

Then she realised all these little things, her mug perched on the end of the kitchen table so she’d remember to have her tea in the morning, her shoes tucked away by the front door, her phone away in a drawer so she wouldn’t keep taking work calls. These were all things that Sly would do for her.

“Is this you?” She whispered in the stillness of the empty apartment. The vase she used put Sly’s weekly gift of flowers in was sitting on the bench. She’d put it away in the cupboard after Sly had disappeared, she hadn’t been able to bear looking at it empty. “Sly?”

There was no response.

Carmelita tried to put it from her mind, after all it was possible she was doing these things herself and just forgetting because her head was that much of a mess.

And that was a terrifying thought, that the notion that she was losing her mind was the more comforting option than the idea that her boyfriend was somehow… haunting her.

That would mean he was dead.

And Sly was not dead.

He was just lost, lost meant that he could be found.

Of course finding meant you had to have somewhere to start looking and even between Carmelita and Bentley’s exhaustive searching they had found no leads.

But Sly wasn’t dead, he couldn’t be.

 

A month into her mysterious situation Carmelita was getting out of a shower when she caught sight of movement. She gasped, watching as a drawing began to appear in the fogged bathroom mirror.

Two large triangles… and then a letter, and another and another…

E

G

Y 

P

T

“Egypt?” Carmelita whispered, Sly it had to be Sly. “Egypt. You’re in Egypt?” Finally a stylised raccoon face, a signature that Carmelita had seen countless times before appeared to confirm her suspicions. “Sly…” She reached out to press her fingertips to the glass, tears tracking down her cheeks. Egypt, he was in Egypt. It wasn’t much but it was a start.

 

* * *

At first Sly thought he was going mad. Sometimes he would blink and find himself back in the apartment, his and Carmelita’s apartment. The first time it happened he wept weak with relief, oh god he was home and then faster than blinking he was back beneath the burning Egyptian sun.

And he wept again.

The second time he realised something was wrong. The colours were muted as though he was seeing the world in greyscale. There was no sound, no noises of the city outside, no hum of electronics. He was alone trapped in some kind of limbo. 

Purgatory.

One or the other he could deal with he thought but this flickering back and forth was going to break him.

Especially once he started seeing Carmelita.

And it broke his heart to see how tired and worn she looked, how hollow and pale.He wished that he could do something to offer her comfort, to try and console her somehow.

More than once he screamed himself hoarse out of sheer frustration, he was so close. So, so close but unable to reach for what was in his grasp.

He did find that he could interact with inanimate objects.

He tried to make his presence known, little actions hoping to pass the message that he was there.

It seemed like he was only causing more harm at first as he caught glimpses of her wan and tearful.

And then his moment came.

_I’m here, I’m alive_ , he wanted to say. _I love you. I miss you_. 

But he knew his time was short at any second he could blink back to beneath the baking sun.

So instead he drew the pyramids and wrote just one word. He knew where he was but not when, he had no more information to give but he wasn’t worried.

Carmelita would find him.

She always did.


	4. Parent/Teacher Night

Carmelita looked up at the sound of the polite knock on her classroom door.

“Ah Mister Cooper.” She smiled, “please come in.”

A young (very young for the father of an eight year old, perhaps younger than her even) raccoon slipped into the room. “Ms Fox. Please, call me Sly.” He put out a hand to shake. “So sorry I’m late.”

Carmelita glanced at the clock, only three minutes past their scheduled meeting time. Much better than some of the other parents she tried to conference with. “Not at all, please call me Carmelita. Can I offer you a seat?” She gestured at the chair on the other side of her desk. “Thank you for coming in.”

“Of course.” He sat.

“I want to start by saying Conner is a great student, he’s very bright and personable. I’m just a little concerned that he’s bored, he’s been acting up in class and he’s taken to making up stories…” She watched Sly lean forward in his seat a slight furrow between his brows and really it was unfair how attractive he was. Carmelita had a very firm policy of not getting too personal with the parents of her students, it had never seemed a shame until now. “And um…” She blinked, dammit woman focus. “I understand that it’s just the two of you at home?”

“Well us and my foster brothers.”

“Ah yes, Conner speaks very highly of his uncles.” She shuffled some of the papers and worksheets on her desk, giving herself an excuse to look away from his intense hazel eyes.

“These stories… what has Conner been saying?” Sly asked, he sounded worried.

Carmelita produced a paper from the pile on her desk, on it was a bright drawing of a female raccoon flying over a skyline with a jetpack. “He’s had a few… I wouldn’t call them fights but arguments with other students, about his mother. He produces pictures like this and talks about his mother being… a spy or a thief or an undercover agent away on a very important mission. I’ve spoken with the other children about their behaviour but Conner is still telling stories, I thought if I had some background it might help me manage the situation.”

Sly pulled the picture toward himself and sighed, “it’s an awkward situation. Conner’s mother isn’t in the picture. She never has been. There was a girl I was… seeing many years ago, a few months into knowing her she skipped town just straight up disappeared then a few months later she skipped back, very pregnant and furious at me. She basically agreed to act as a surrogate and signed away her parental rights, she didn’t want anything to do with Conner. We haven’t seen her since she left the hospital.”

“Oh my goodness.” Carmelita blinked. “I can understand how that would be… difficult to explain to a child.”

“I’ve never tried to hide it from Conner, I suppose it’s time to talk with him again.” He shot Carmelita a rueful smile. “I lost my own parents when I was Conner’s age, I know how hard it is to be the only kid in class without a parent.”

Carmelita’s heart ached sympathetically. “If it’s any consolation Sly, you’re doing a great job.” Carmelita tried not to judge a parent’s character on the way their child behaved but watching Sly Cooper’s eyes light up with joy and gratitude at the praise she thought it was safe to say that this was a good man in the same way his son was a good kid.

“Thank you, that… that means a lot. May I keep this?”

“Yes of course.”

He folded the drawing away. “You also said Conner has been acting up in class?”

“Yes I’m concerned that he’s bored. I’m loathe to push a child up a grade, I think it’s better for them developmentally to be with other children their own age but there’s only so much extra attention I can give with twenty other kids to wrangle. But I thought between us we might be able to work something out.” And then throwing her policy to the wind she added. “Perhaps over coffee? I’m free on Saturday.”

* * *

Sly hummed as he trotted down the school steps, as he approached his car his phone rang loudly. Pulling it out he frowned at the number on the screen. Scowling he answered. “What do you want? I already sent this month’s payment through.”

There was a soft ‘tutting’ on the other end of the line, “now now Poodle is that anyway to speak to the mother of your child?”

“What do you want Neyla?”

“I’m in town.”

Sly nearly dropped his phone, “what, why?”

“For work dipshit, why else would I be in this backwater? The old bird wants a shiny from your museum I’m here to collect it.”

Sly did not like the sound of this, “and you are calling me because?”

“Because the help I have been provided with doesn’t know their arseholes from a hole in the ground so I need you.”

Sly slid into the driver’s seat and slammed the car door. “No, absolutely not.” Sly had learnt very quickly that he and Neyla had very different ideas about how a heist should go. He had refused to work with her again after he’d watched her kick a guard off a roof, eyes bulging and face purple from Neyla’s whip around his throat. 

The sound of the snap still woke Sly some nights. 

“Awww. You won’t help?” Neyla pouted. “Well then I don’t know… what am going to do instead?” She made a thoughtful noise. “Ooh I could come visit the sprog. How is our son?”

“My son.” Sly snarled. “You gave up your access to him. You have no legal right…”

“Because you have always been so concerned with what’s _legal_.” Neyla said with deadly softness. “Look at it this way Poodle, the sooner you give me what I want the sooner I go away.”

Sly grit his teeth. “Fine but we use my crew and we do it my way.”

“I think I can live with that. We do the job on Saturday night…”

“No.” Sly interrupted thinking of Carmelita’s number burning a hole in his pocket. “We go in on Friday, I have plans on Saturday.” And he terminated the call.

Sighing he leant forward resting his forehead on the steering wheel, this was going to be a complicated weekend.


	5. Family Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beth belongs to @extraneousdominomask aka IronicSnap

Once they were safely on the rooftop Beth shoved away from Sly and then punched him as hard as she could in the gut.

“Grab me like that again and I will shoot you in the FUCKING FACE.” She snarled. She stalked to the edge of the roof and looked down, and it was a _long_ way down. “What the hell was that about anyway?”

Sly wheezed where he was doubled over trying to catch his breath. “I wasn’t going to let you shoot a room full of people.” He managed.

Beth snorted, “as if you give a shit what happens to a bunch of low rent grunts. What’s the real reason you hauled me out of there?”

“You would have gotten Carmelita too.” Sly admitted straightening.

“Who?” Beth quirked an eyebrow.

“Inspector Fox.” Sly corrected himself. “The cop.” He said when Beth was still looking at him blankly.

“The cop? Seriously? Why do you even care… oh.” She made a noise of understanding and then laughed. “Man you are _pathetic_. Are you telling me you’ve got some weird hard on for the chick chasing you? No actually, it figures doesn’t it.”

“It’s complicated.” Sly muttered.

“Does she know about this stalkerish obsession you have with her?” Sly looked away but Beth must have read something in his face because she made a disgusted noise and said, “oh god there’s some kind of ridiculous Cooper level backstory there that I don’t want to know about isn’t there.”

“Like I said, it’s complicated.”

Beth waved a hand, forestalling any further explanation. “Look if you want to make goo-goo eyes at some stupid little bitch with a badge I could not give less of a fuck but if your cop gets in my way…”

“Hey.” Sly interrupted. “Let’s make one thing clear… you lay a hand on her and I will end you.” He growled, fur bristling.

Beth folded her arms, smirking at him. “…hm. _There’s_ the Fletcher in you.” She said.

“I mean it. ‘Lita is off limits.” Sly made a cutting motion.

“ _‘Liiiiiitttaaa_.” She mocked. “You got it bad don’t you?”

“I’m serious.”

“And I’m trembling in my reinforced kevlar. Tell you what cousin, the way I see it the easiest way to keep your cop safe, is for you to stay away from me.”

“Trust me.” Sly muttered, “after this is done I…” He trailed off, one ear flicking. “We have to go…” He started but too late, a cry of his name echoed across the skyline. Carmelita had caught up. “Okay…” Sly said, “I can handle her I just need…” Behind him there was the unmistakable sound of pistol being primed, he spun to face Beth. “Put that away!”

“I have warrants out on my head in _fifteen countries_.” She hissed, gesturing with the pistol. “If you think I’m just going to let your girlfriend take me to jail…”

“I told you I can handle her…”

That was when Carmelita jumped onto the roof and saw a woman who appeared to be pointing a gun at Sly.

“Police.” Carmelita snapped. “Hands up and drop the weapon.”

“Yeahhh… about that I don’t think so.” Beth drawled. 

“I said put the weapon down and your hands up.” Carmelita repeated, shock pistol raised.

“And I said no.” Beth said completely unconcerned.

“Carmelita it’s alright.” Sly tried to get between them.

“Cooper step away from her, come toward me.” Carmelita said not taking her eyes off Beth and her M9.

“Huh.” Beth’s eyebrow quirked again. “So she’s got it bad too, okay.” She said and promptly shot Sly in the leg.

He crumpled clutching his bleeding thigh.

“SLY.” Carmelita yelled running to him. She looked to where Beth had been but she was gone. “Dammit Cooper.” She muttered wrenching off her jacket and wrapping it around Sly’s leg then using the pouch he wore as a makeshift tourniquet. “What the hell was that?” 

Sly groaned,”it’s complicated.” God he was saying that a lot tonight.

“Who was she?” Carmelita demanded eyes narrowed.

“My cousin.”

Carmelita’s hands stilled, “another Cooper?” She whispered.

“No, on my mother’ side.”

“Oh… well that makes sense.” She said quietly. “What was she doing here with you?” 

“It’s a long story.” Sly said gritting his teeth against the pain. “I’ll tell you all about it when I’m not bleeding everywhere.”

Carmelita jerked her head in acknowledgement. “Fair enough.”

Sly reached for his binocucom. “I need to call the guys.”

Carmelita snatched the binocucom away from him. “I am taking you to a hospital.”

“No Carmelita, I’m fine.” 

“She _shot_ you _!_ ”

“Yeah it’s a through and through, hitting nothing vital. Believe me if she wanted to kill me she could have. Stitch me up and I’ll be fine.”

Grudgingly Carmelita passed him back the binocucom and waited while he contacted Murray and Bentley to bring the van around. Gently she helped him to stand taking his weight on her shoulder.

“Does it count as a ten second head start if you’re helping me get away?” Sly joked.

“How about you can the smartarse remarks and maybe tell me why your cousin shot you?”

“So that she could make her getaway I guess. Look she shot at me rather than you so I don’t mind.”

“You don’t mind that she shot you?” Carmelita said as she helped Sly limp down the fire escape.

“Well obviously a mind a little but better me than you. I don’t know what I’d do if Beth had done this to you ‘Lita.” He tilted his head so he could brush his nose against her cheek.

Carmelita muttered something to herself that sounded very much like ‘dear god what am I in love with.’ And Sly laughed a little breathlessly. His leg hurt, a sharp burning pain and he would not pretend that he enjoyed being hurt, being helpless. And he would certainly not pretend that he was not annoyed at his cousin but he would rather be stumbling himself down the many, many steps to the street than holding Carmelita as she bled. He would do as Beth said, to keep the cop away from the professional assassin he would stay away too.

Blood ties were not worth the blood of someone he loved.


	6. Psych You Out In The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sly Cooper Psych AU

“So tell me what’s this?” Carmelita asked.

The young raccoon sitting cuffed to the table gave her a flat look, ‘it’s my cane. I need it to y’know… walk.”

Carmelita looked down at the cane in her hands, it was an odd height for a walking stick with a curved golden head. “It’s certainly unusual.” She said.

“It’s an heirloom.” He snapped. “It was my father’s and his mother’s before him, it..” he fell silent turning away. “Look Inspector I just came to collect the reward money I was promised for giving you the tip that solved your ‘unsolvable’ case. Can you explain again what I’m under arrest for?”

“Yes, you told me something only someone involved in the crime would know and then when I asked how you knew, you told me you were psychic.”

“Believe in my ability or not Inspector but I had nothing to with your theft. Quite apart from the fact that I have a spinal injury, I was in the hospital the night in question.”

“The whole night?”

“Yes. I had a physical therapy session and sometimes they keep me overnight for observation after.”

“Is that normal?”

He sighed rolling his eyes, “two years ago I fell, I spent six weeks in and out of consciousness and when I woke up I couldn’t feel my legs. Eighteen months of rehab and experimental surgery and I can walk again… just. So now I’m something of a case study. Call the hospital, call my doctor they can confirm where I was all night.”

Carmelita slapped a hand down on the table in front of him. “You could have had an accomplice.”

He laughed, “lady I have to introduce you to my friends.” 

Carmelita growled she was not buying this man’s lie, she was going to make him talk. Make him tell the truth.

There was a knock and the door opened, Carmelita turned.

“Sergeant Greyfaires I am in the middle of an interrogation.” 

The blue-grey mouse who had stuck his head through the door bobbed apologetically. “Sorry Inspector but the museum curator just cracked, confessed to everything and confirmed he was working alone. Mister Cooper’s alibi also checks out.”

“What?” Carmelita spluttered. “But I only just…”

“The Chief put me onto the curator and Mister Cooper’s uh.. brothers are waiting for him. They alibied him and the Chief had me check it, his doctor confirms he was in the hospital all night.”

Carmelita swore internally, dammit now they couldn’t hold him.

“So am I free to go?” Cooper asked.

“Actually the Chief would like to see you first… umm you too Inspector.”

Carmelita kneaded her temples, “fine I’ll bring him.”

Cooper rattled his cuffs, “great I’ll have these off and my cane if you please.”

Carmelita uncuffed him and watched him rise like an old man all stiffness and creaking joints but she also saw the frustration of a young man who was not used to his body betraying him. She’d heard the bitter anger in his tone when he’d talked about his injury, she could see a body gone frail and soft but he seemed like someone who had been active, fit before his accident. It must be hard, to relearn what had been so basic, to experience pain where before they had been none.

They walked slowly up the hall to Chief Barkley’s office,

“I wouldn’t be much for a quick getaway would I Inspector?” Cooper smirked leaning heavily on his cane.

Carmelita ignored him rapping Barkley’s door, “Sir?”

“Ah Inspector Fox and your brought your tipster good, good.” Barkley came around his desk to shake Cooper’s hand. Thanking him for his help and apologising for the misunderstanding and the offering him a job.

Carmelita snapped to attention, WHAT? “Sir you can’t possibly…. Sir I protest the IN THE STRONGEST POSSIBLE TERMS.”

Barkley waved her off, “hush Fox we need the publicity. What do you say son?”

“I will certainly have to think about it.” Cooper smiled politely. “Check with my brothers and my doctor.”

“Of course, of course. Let us know your decision. Walk him out will you Inspector Fox.”

Carmelita set her teeth as Cooper cast a triumphant, smug smirk at her. “Yes sir.” She said.

 

She escorted Cooper to the front of the building. Waiting by the front desk was a large pink hippo and a small wheelchair bound turtle.

“Sly!” They both wailed as they saw Cooper.

“Hey guys. Inspector Fox meet Murray and Bentley my foster brothers.”

Carmelit offered a short nod, maybe she’d been wrong these men were clearly not criminals.

“Is everything alright?” Bentley, the turtle asked.

“Oh yeah pal we sorted everything out. I did have to tell the Inspector here the family secret though.”

The twin expressions of bewilderment and horror on Cooper’s brothers’ faces made Carmelita second guess herself, maybe he was psychic.At least there was clearly something Cooper wasn’t meant to have told her.

“You did what???” They yelled in panic.

“It’s okay I told her about me being a psychic. Her boss even offered me a job as a consultant. I said I’d think about it.”

Looks were exchanged and Carmelita watched the three of them have an entire silent conversation before Bentley addressed her again.

“Well uh thank you for being so understanding of Sly’s gift Inspector.”

Carmelita folded her arms, “I’ll have you know that I do not believe this nonsense for one instant.”

“Maybe we should go?” The hippo, Murray suggested timidly.

“Yeah pal good idea.” Cooper turned and offered Carmelita a little half bow, “thank you for your hospitality Inspector, until next time.”

“I will prove that you are lying Cooper don’t think that I won’t.”

“You can’t prove a lie that isn’t there Inspector.” He said and slowly, carefully headed out the main doors.

Carmelita watched him go, watched him stubbornly refuse his brother’s offered hand and climb painfully up into their waiting van. 

When Carmelita had joined the police force her father had told her that the angriest people were not the most dangerous. Rather people who were desperate, people with nothing to lose, proud men made to feel helpless were the ones to fear.

Carmelita had the feeling she would definitely be seeing Sly Cooper again.


	7. Please don’t ever scare me like that again.

“Sly?” Carmelita said as she squirmed trying to free her snout from where it was crushed against Sly’s chest. The raccoon had a death grip on her, holding her so tightly that she could feel his heart hammering against her cheek. “Cooper... let me go.” She hissed. 

This was not appropriate, she had three perps cuffed in the alleyway watching this with, no doubt great amusement. Carmelita could swear she could hear one of them sniggering.

“I thought…” Sly whispered hoarsely. “Oh my God I thought you were going to die. Please don’t ever scare me like that again.”

Carmelita felt colour scorch into her cheeks, “I… what.. I don’t.” She spluttered completely unable to even form a coherent sentence, let alone a quip.

Okay, now one of her perps was definitely sniggering. 

Hearing it, Sly relaxed his hold on her slightly to reach out with his cane and clock the gorilla over the head. Carmelita used the opportunity to pull back and look at him, there was an uncharacteristic seriousness on his face as he glared at her perps, all three of them now unconscious.

He was angry, she realised. Rigid in his stance, grounded. There was an absence of his usual fluid grace that made him, to Carmelita’s mind at least seem more real, less likely to disappear into laughing shadows at any second.

His intervention had been timely to say the least, she didn’t like to admit it but Carmelita had been in trouble. Quite literally backed into a corner with one of the gorilla’s massive fists squeezing around her throat… and then Sly’s boots and the gleaming head of his cane coming down, once, twice, three times onto her attacker’s skull.

The two of them had mopped up and once the three gorilla’s were subdued Sly had pulled Carmelita into the crushing hug.

Sly looked away from the unconscious perps and back to Carmelita, softening as he did. “Are you alright?” He asked reaching for her again.

Carmelita reached up to touch her bruised throat. “I’m fine.” She said shortly.

“Good.” He said shakily. “That’s good.” He traced his fingers along her jaw, sliding up into her hair. “I’m glad.”

He was standing far too close, Carmelita needed to cuff him. Needed to use this moment to finally, finally catch him but…

Sly was staring at her, eyes molten gold in their intensity. Carmelita felt very heavy pinned under that gaze.

“Promise me you’re alright?”

“I promise.” She said with a sudden breathlessness that would have embarrassed her if anyone was around to hear it.

“Good.” He repeated. “Good.”

“I… thank you.” She said finally, he had saved her life, criminal that he was.

His other hand cradled her face now too, his thumb stroking her cheek. “I wasn’t… I couldn’t..” He lapsed staring helplessly at her.

There was the sudden, encroaching wail of a siren, Carmelita’s long overdue backup was arriving.

Both Sly and Carmelita swung their heads toward the sound, the moment shattered but even before Carmelita had turned back to face Sly he was gone. 

And Carmelita was alone in the alley with only the phantom warmth of his fingers on her cheek.


	8. Rewards club member

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slyfox, meeting in the E.R/A&E au

Carmelita had seen him before, a young raccoon about her own age who was often in here the same nights as her. His injuries tended to vary, wrists in slings, bandaged ankles, ice packs held against his head.

Tonight it seemed there was something up with his ribs, he was sitting on the bed next to her, his shirt off, his torso swathed in bandages.

“Hi.” He grinned at her. “Come here often?”

“Not as often as you I don’t think.” Carmelita said shifting on the bed trying to get comfortable while still keeping her leg elevated.

“Oh yeah I’m a rewards club member, I’ve got a loyalty card and everything. I’m one punch away from a free appendectomy.”

“You’re definitely one punch away from something. What do you do that keeps winding you up in here? I know I’ve seen you before.”

“I’m.. an… acrobat.” He gestured at himself. “I just… fall a lot.”

“Maybe it’s time for a new profession, no offence.”

He just continued to smile at her, the same easy grin. “None taken. What about you? I’ve seen you too, how do you keep ending up in here?”

“I’m a cop.” Carmelita said proudly. “Sometimes the perps get in a lucky hit.”

He blinked a little in surprise, Carmelita was used to that though and then his face cracked into a wide, cheeky grin… that was less usual. “Sly.” He said, leaning forward and offering her his hand to shake. He grimaced as the movement caused his injury to twinge. 

“Carmelita.” Carmelita said, she reached out but between his injury and her leg she only managed to brush the tips of his fingers and he continued to smile that warm crooked grin at her and Carmelita felt a rush that a simple smile and a moment of contact should not have inspired in her.

“So did you catch him?”

“What?”

“The perp who got in the lucky hit.” He pointed at her ankle.

“I always do.” Carmelita said. “I was chasing a bat who thought he could get away from me over the rooftops because he had wings and I didn’t. I tackled him off the roof and… well….” She shrugged. “I landed badly.”

“Well that makes two of us.” He laughed. “Like I said I’ve seen you here before too and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to have dinner sometime…?”

“Are you seriously asking me out?”

“Can’t blame a guy for trying. You know the glare of the fluorescent lights, the smell of antiseptic, it just really sets the mood.”

Carmelita dug one of her cards out of her jacket and threw it to him, offering a small smile. He certainly seemed nice enough and really what was the worst that could happen?


	9. Actual Furry Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bonus scene set after A Tiny Core of Stillness

Nunavut Bay sparkled in the moonlight beneath a fresh fall of snow. Sly leapt from the edge of town into the wilderness beyond as he made his way to the cliffs to begin his first job of the day. 

He paused for a moment tipping his face toward the sky, the clouds had blown over and the night was clear and freezing cold but it was a bracing cold, the kind that kept you alert. Sly could appreciate that.

As he prepared to leap again Sly heard his com crackle to life in his ear,

“This is the Wizard, come in Actual Furry Disaster. Do you read me Furry Disaster?”

Sly sighed, “Bentley I can’t believe I’m saying this but can we go back to ‘Sitting Duck’?”

“Need I remind you Sly that you’re the one who insisted on a new codename.” Bentley replied primly.

Sly could swear he heard muffled laughter in the background, “…this was Carmelita’s idea wasn’t it?”

There was a long pause then Carmelita’s voice patched into the conversation. “No…” She said but Sly could hear the smile in her voice.

Ah well after Prague he was happy for any chance to make her smile. “If I’d have known the two of you were going to gang up on me I wouldn’t have invited you along ‘Lita.”

“Yes you would have.” Carmelita said with such warm fondness that for a moment Sly forgot all about the cold.

“…y.. yeah you’re right.” Sly laughed. “Okay _Wizard_ I’m almost in position to get you some recon photos. Give me a minute to get to the top here.”

“No worries Sly.” Bentley said pulling up the feed from Sly’s binocucom on his laptop.

“Make sure you come back in one piece Ringtail.”

Sly made an inarticulate noise of agreement and then Bentley could hear him start his climb.

Bentley shot a look over his shoulder at Carmelita curled in an armchair, wrapped snugly in a blanket. She didn’t quite meet his gaze as she removed the spare earpiece and held it out to him. “Here I don’t want to be a distraction.”

_A bit late for that_ , Bentley thought. Sly’s attention had been divided since he and Carmelita had emerged from that forest in the Czech Republic. Sly hovered, was reluctant to let Carmelita out of his sight and his hands shook when Bentley or Murray asked what had happened while the three of them had been apart.

Bentley was also suspicious of this so-called ‘truce’ that Sly and Carmelita had struck but looking at her right now Bentley hardly suspected that she had the energy to perform a double cross. In fact it was hard to reconcile the tired, worn looking young woman in her chair with the almost mythical figure of Inspector Fox at all.

“No that’s alright.” He said turning back to his computer, “keep it.”

“Thanks.” She muttered, fiddling with the earpiece before slipping it back into her ear. “I know this is weird…”

“It’s not…” Bentley started. “No, no you’re right it is weird.”

“I appreciate the help in any case. I couldn’t have gotten out of Prague on my own and clearing my name is going to be nigh on impossible while Neyla is still dripping poison into my superiors’ ears.” She shifted in her chair, adjusting her blanket. “As soon as I get some proof I’ll be able to go home.”

“And get straight back to chasing us.” Bentley muttered.

“I don’t think they’ll let me stay on this case after this.” Carmelita said softly.

Bentley turned to look back at her, “what do you mean?”

Carmelita let out a strained little laugh. “In the course of working the Cooper case I’ve been captured by a demonic, immortal owl, been cuffed inside a volcano by the criminal I was supposed to be arresting. Wasted nine hours hiding inside a sarcophagus at the Natural History Museum in Cairo on a bum stake out. I’ve now been betrayed by my partner and handed over to a corrupt Interpol official who was using her connections as a front for her criminal endeavours.” She ticked each point off on her fingers. “Even if I pass the inevitable mental evaluation I don’t know if I’ll ever be allowed back in the field. But I still want to go home and I want my job back even if I don’t have the same freedoms I’m used to. And I’m under no illusions that ousting Neyla will make everything normal again… I just… I just want _something to be normal_.” She stared at her hands. “Does that make sense?”

“Yeah…” Bentley nodded. “It does.”

“ _Bentley? Bentley are you there?_ ” Sly's voice competed with the rushing sea wind at the top of the cliff.

Bentley adjusted the mic on his headphones. “We’re here Sly.” He said looking through the recon photos from Sly’s binocucom. “We’re here, aren’t we Carmelita?”

“Right here.” Carmelita said warmly looking from Bentley, to where Murray was snoring on the couch. “We’re all, right here.”


	10. "Is that an unregistered shock pistol?" And other awkward questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another bonus scene set after A Tiny Core of Stillness

“C’mon ‘Lita sharing is caring… now give me some of your fries.” Sly said taking a swipe for Carmelita’s basket of fries.

Carmelita lifted the basket out of his reach, straining back in her seat. “If you wanted some fries why didn’t you get your own?”

“Because I ordered pizza and you don’t eat fries with pizza.” He said leaning across the table.

“Then why do you want mine?”

“Because they look good.”

“Murray has fries, why don’t you have some of his.”

Sly’s gaze slid to Murray’s plate, “….yeah I’m not doing that.”

“I tried warn you Carmelita.” Bentley said looking up from his sandwich. “Sly always steals food.”

Sighing Carmelita set the basket back on the table with a ‘whump’. “Fine.” 

Crowing Sly stuffed a handful of Carmelita’s fries into his mouth.

“Here Carmelita, you can have some of mine.” Murray said nudging his plate toward her.

Sly froze and Bentley stared.

“What happened to THE MURRAY doesn’t share food?”

Murray shrugged.

“Thank you Murray.” Carmelita said. She side-eyed Sly, “at least someone knows how to act like a gentleman.”

Sly made a noise of protest around his mouthful of potato

_______

The four of them were sitting in a tiny roadside diner on a Canadian highway on their endless drive following the Northern Lights.

Sly had gotten restless as he seemed to at 30 minute intervals since they’d driven off the ferry so they’d pulled over to get some food and let him stretch his legs.

“How much longer do we have to travel do you think?” Carmelita asked Bentley who was pouring over an enormous roadmap.

“About a day… if we don’t keep stopping.” He said casting a pointed glance at Sly.

“What?” Sly protested, “it’s not my fault driving through North America is boring. At least when we’re long distance driving across Europe we can mark our progress by how many countries we’ve driven through.”

Bentley rolled his eyes. “Anyway as I was saying….”

“Wait.” Carmelita said suddenly. She leant over the table, “two wolves just walked in, armed… I think they’re going to…”

“Rob the place?” Sly said shooting a look over his shoulder toward the door. “Oh yeah definitely.” He looked at Murray. “You and me Big Guy?” Sly shifted his cane into his lap.

Murray tracked the two skeevy looking young wolves as they slunk toward the counter. “Right with you Sly.” 

“No stop.” Carmelita and Bentley hissed. Carmelita made a snatch for Sly’s collar just as he’d snatched at her fries. But he slipped from her reach.

“ALRIGHT THIS IS A HOLD UP.” One of the wolves screamed, producing a shotgun from his bag.

“Gentlemen.” Sly sauntered up the the pair. “May I…?”

The young wolf nearest him flinched so badly he almost he almost fell over then slammed the stock of his gun into the side of Sly’s head.

“Hey!” Murray frowned. “That’s. Not. Very. Nice.” He yelled body slamming into the wolf who hit Sly.

“Sh..shit.” The other wolf fumbled to pull his own weapon from his duffel bag but there was a crackle of electric blue and his body seized and he fell to the floor, his clothing and fur smoking faintly.

Carmelita stood in front of their booth, feet planted, shock pistol held thumbs forward, her eyes very wide and her shoulders heaving. “Are you alright there Ringtail?”

“I’m fine.” Sly, still lying on the floor said.

“What were you thinking?” 

Sly sat up, “usually, especially dealing with kids like this you offer them some pocket change and they leave. They’re not normally this violent.” He frowned at the two unconscious wolves. “Are you okay?” He asked looking back at Carmelita, she hadn’t fired her weapon at another person since she’d shot the Countessa in Prague.

“I’m fine.” She said staunchly clipping the pistol back to her belt, her hands trembling slightly. She looked around the diner at the pale faced staff and the handful of other staring customers. “Should we… ah… go?” Before the police arrived and the four of them had to answer a lot of awkward questions.

Like ‘Why do you have an unlicensed shock pistol?’ 

And ‘don’t you all have international warrants out for your arrest?’ 

“Probably a good idea.” Bentley nodded hopping down from the booth. “Let’s go.”

Carmelita helped Sly to his feet and he ran his hands down her arms, a quick, quiet gesture to ask if she was okay. Meeting his eyes Carmelita bobbed her head in a quick nod and he gave her a small smile.

“Uh guys are you coming?” Murray asked from the doorway.

“Right with you Big Guy.” Sly said lacing his fingers with Carmelita’s and the two of them ran for the door.


	11. Not Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Sly didn't take the hit at the end of Sly 3?

“No! Not her.” Sly yelled rushing to put himself between Carmelita and the blast from Dr M’s weapon but he wasn’t fast enough. 

And he watched, time seeming to slow as Carmelita was struck in the chest, he saw her eyes blowing wide, mouth open in shock. He reached out for her but then everything suddenly was moving _too_ fast and she was flung away hitting the opposite wall with a sickening crack.

Sly _howled_.

He wasn’t really sure what happened from one moment to the next. He was vaguely aware of Dr M gloating and laughing behind him, of his hand tightening on his cane as he spun on his heel. And then suddenly Dr M wasn’t laughing anymore and Sly was climbing up toward Carmelita.

The vault was coming down, debris raining from the ceiling, the walls shaking. He needed to get the two of them out of there.

“‘Lita?” Sly hesitated at the sight of her very still form and the blood trickling from under her hair. “’Lita? Oh please… no.” He’d done this, this was all his fault. He’d failed to protect her, after all the times Carmelita had protected him, had _saved_ him and he had failed her. _He hadn’t gotten to tell her_. 

He knelt, pulling her into his arms, apologies on his lips and a terrible dark feeling churning inside him. For a second the panic and stomach twisting horror abated as he felt her move, felt her _breathe_.

Alive, alive, alive. She was alive. He could cry.

“‘Lita?” He croaked.

Carmelita gasped, eyelids fluttering as she came to. She groaned loudly, struggling to sit up.

Sly broke, he crushed her against his chest. “I thought you were dead.” He dropped his forehead to her should, he could feel tears building but resolutely pushed them away. He didn’t need them, she was alive.

He kissed her, full of giddy relief, and he heard her breath catch as she made a soft sound of surprise.

“Oh?”

“I’m so sorry Carmelita. I’ll get us out of here I promise. I… I…” He needed to _tell_ her.

“O… okay.” Carmelita said softly. “But who… who are you?”

* * *

Sly stood at the rail of the ship staring at Kaine Island disappearing on the horizon. His gang had not been thrilled at the sight of Sly all but dragging Carmelita out of the vault but Murray had carried her and Bentley had patched her up and now they were sailing back to civilisation.

Sly wondered if it had all been worth it. The planning and the recruiting, everything they’d done to get here.

And now they were sailing away, the hold full of whatever they had been able to salvage from the collapsing vault and Sly wasn’t sure how he felt.

He’d expected to feel more of _something_.

More fulfilled, more secure, more attached to his legacy but there was… nothing. None of that spark that he’d felt when he’d held the Thievius Raccoonus reformed.

He pushed the feeling of disconnect aside and turned at the sound of Bentley hopping up from below.

“Hey pal, how’s she doing?”

“Well apart from the amnesia, which I must admit certainly appears genuine. I suspect fractured ribs and a severe concussion but otherwise she seems fine. Inspector Fox has always been remarkably sturdy.” Bentley shrugged. “She should last until we can drop her off at the next port.”

Sly started at that, “what?”

“We’re not taking her back to Paris with us Sly.” Bentley protested. “And I’m not convinced this memory loss isn’t some kind of ruse.”

“C’mon Bentley, Carmelita’s not one for sneaky tricks, you know that.” Sly said leaning back down onto the rail.

Bentley hummed, “even if she isn’t faking it chances are she could still regain her memories. Have you forgotten that Inspector Fox has arrested at least half the people on this ship before?”

“She got _shot_ Bentley.” Sly said.

“Which is why she needs to be dropped at the nearest port… with a decent hospital.” Bentley said. At Sly’s continued look of horrified disapproval Bentley flung up his hands. “She could have internal bleeding, she could hemorrhage or stroke. She needs a hospital Sly.”

Sly nodded, scrubbing a hand across his face. He saw Bentley’s point, he’d almost lost Carelita once today. He didn’t want to run the risk of losing her for good. “Alright pal. alright. We’ll drop her off… but I’m staying with her.”

“Wha…? Sly no.”

“I’m not leaving her alone, with no memories on some random island in the Caribbean.”

“She’s Interpol, they’ll contact Paris, they’ll send someone for her.”

“She doesn’t have her credentials.” Sly muttered.

Bentley squawked at that. “Whuh… why…??”

Sly shrugged looking back out to sea, Carmelita must have dropped her badge and papers in the chaos of their escape, certainly it wasn’t because Sly had thrown them away in a moment of madness and hope.

Because if Carmelita didn’t remember then maybe she could stay….

Sly straightened, stretching out his back. “I’m going to check on her.” He patted Bentley on the shoulder as he passed. “Let us know when we see land.”

“Sly…” Bentley called after him but Sly simply waved a hand as he disappeared below deck.

 

Carmelita was sitting up on her bunk, propped up with as many pillows as Murray had been able to find for her.

Sly paused in the doorway, “ummm knock-knock.”

Carmelita turned toward him, she was veritably swathed in bandages courtesy of the Guru and Penelope but her eyes were bright and her smile when she saw him was genuine.

“Oh hello.”

Sly slid into the room, “just wanted to see how you were doing.”

She rubbed her bandaged ribs, “a little sore but I think I’m alright.”

Sly found himself perched on the edge of her bunk, there was something heartbreaking in the way she looked at him. There was no annoyance, no hostility but there was no familiarity either. None of that fire that could ripple from flirtation to fury. 

Carmelita just looked at him with a polite sort of distance, like he was a stranger.

“That’s good, that’s good. Uh Bentley wants to take you to a hospital so we’re gonna do that… okay?”

Carmelita tilted her head, “yes that’s probably a good idea.”

“Do you remember anything?”

“No…” She admitted mournfully, drawing her knees up then wincing and straightening them out again. “But… I have been thinking and I think I might have sussed some things out.” She leaned forward conspiratorially. “Will you tell me if I’m right?”

“Oh..oh okay.” Sly felt himself leaning away, some instinct in the back of his mind readying him to flee. 

Carmelita smiled, “we’re criminals aren’t we?”

“We…?” Sly’s head spun. “We are.” He said and hoped she wouldn’t press for details of who defined ‘we’.

“Ha. I thought so.” She said triumphant. “That’s why we have this funny old boat and such a mismatched crew… and a hold full of treasure.”

“How did you?”

One ear flicked, “people talk when they think you can’t hear them.”

Sly was going to have words with the rest of his gang.

“And..” She continued, “Are we, as in you and I… a thing?”

“A thing?”

Her face fell slightly, “oh.” She plucked at the blanket. “I’m sorry if I’m mistaken, you just seemed so upset in that cave and you kissed me…”

Sly wanted desperately to tell her he loved her, that he had loved for so long but it didn’t feel right, didn’t feel fair to unload such a heartfelt confession onto someone who had no context. “I… I…”

“And it’s just I get the feeling that I really like you.”

Sly’s ears perked, “you do?”

Carmelita met his gaze, “am I wrong?”

“I… I can’t speak for you.” Sly said finally. “But I….” He moved closer and closer. “Well let’s just say I kissed you for a reason.” 

Carmelita nodded slowly, “Alright.” A smile curled at the corner of her lips, a smile that held a promise of wickedness. Leaning forward she caught Sly’s mouth against her own. 

Sly moaned reaching up to cradle her jaw, he kissed her much more gently than he had before. A slow soft thing that warmed him down to his toes.

Carmelita drew away, scrunching up her snout. “Hmmm.” She said.

“…not good?” Sly blinked at her trying to parse her expression.

“Oh no, very good. It just didn’t bring anything back.” She smiled. “I think perhaps we should try again.”

 

Later as Sly staggered back up onto the deck he found himself stuck in a unfamiliar situation.

A moral quandary.

Should he tell Carmelita everything? All of their history, all the bumps along the way, all of the allyship when it had mattered.

All that had lead him to loving her.

Or did he take a chance?

Let her draw her own conclusions, make her own assumptions and let her believe she was one of the gang?

He looked out at the dark ocean letting the cool wind ruffle his fur.

He didn’t know what to do.

Would Carmelita lie to him if the situation was reversed?

He took a breath.

He thought of Carmelita’s warm mouth against his and the fear that had filled him at the though of losing her.

_Alright then_.

Mind made up Sly turned and ducked back below deck.


	12. About Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt #12 - “I’m pregnant”

“Sly.” Carmelita said walking quietly into the living room. 

Sly looked up at her and smiled. She was beautiful, her hair still damp from the shower, wearing her pajamas, her arms wrapped around herself.She didn’t return Sly’s smile, her face drawn and serious.

“‘Lita?”

Carmelita sat down on the couch next to him, pulling her tail into her lap she ran her fingers through it agitatedly. “I think we need to talk…”

The words were scarcely out of her mouth before Sly’s brain went into panic mode. “Carmelita.” He said lunging across the couch to take her hands. “Whatever it is I’m sorry. Please don’t break up with me.”

Carmelita blinked, “no Sly, I’m not breaking up with you.”

Sly visibly relaxed, “oh okay. What’s wrong then?”

Carmelita pulled her knees up to her chest, still plucking at her tail. “You know how I went to the doctor the other day…”

The panic was back, Carmelita had been sick lately, for days and days much longer than she normally fell ill for. “Oh god are you dying?”

“No Sly…”

“Am I dying?” Sly asked eyes wide.

“No Sly! I’m not breaking up with you and no one is dying…. in fact this conversation is about the opposite of death. It’s about life.”

Sly stared, his mind gone completely blank. “…’Lita?”

Gently Carmelita took his hands and held them in her own. “I’m pregnant.”

“p..puh..preg…” Sly stuttered.

“Pregnant.” Carmelita repeated. “I trust I don’t need to explain the how.”

The tips of Sly’s ears turned pink and he laid them flat against his head, “I… I know the… How far along are you?”

Carmelita shrugged, “a few weeks, eight at the most.”

Sly felt a grin spread across his face, “that’s amazing…” He went to embrace her but drew back. “Oh wait are you… I’m sorry I shouldn’t…”

“Pregnant Sly not turned to glass.” Carmelita said flatly.

“Right. Right, right, right.” He pulled her into his arms and Carmelita nestled against his chest. A thought struck him as he held her, “’Lita… is this what you want…?” He asked, he was so happy at the thought of a family but Carmelita was so career driven, so focused. 

Carmelita pulled back and her gaze slid away then back to Sly. “I was surprised when the doctor told me, it’s not something I’ve thought much about.” She offered Sly an almost shy smile. “But I’ve been giving it some thought and it’s definitely an idea I’m coming around to.”

* * *

Carmelita Fox was a cranky pregnant lady.

And that was fair enough, Sly supposed. Her temper was notoriously short at the best of times add an extra cocktail of hormones and a sudden and severe limiting of what she was normally able to do and her short fuse was nonexistent.

She’d found it particularly galling when at six months along she’d walked (waddled) into the office and Barkley had taken one look at her and said, “desk duty Fox.”

She’d eaten two pints of ice cream that night and Sly had kept a wary distance.

And now at eight months, she and Sly lay in bed together Sly rolling little chocolate balls off Carmelita’s abdomen then catching and eating them.

“This baby needs to vacate.” Carmelita said, “and give me some of those. I thought they were for me.”

“Sharing is caring ‘Lita.” Sly said passing her the bag. “Soon right? I mean the doctor said just a few more weeks. You hear that little one?” He addressed the bump. “Mama has given you notice. You’re going to have to come out and move into your crib.”

Carmelita paused, a chocolate ball halfway to her lips. “Gosh that’s soon, I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

“Are you excited?”

“Nervous I think. Are we ready?”

“As ready as anyone ever is I guess.” Sly crawled up the bed to kiss her. “You’re going to be great, you’re great at everything ‘Lita.”

Carmelita smiled. “I appreciate your faith in me. I think you’re going to be an amazing dad Sly.”

“Then we’ll be great together.” He beamed. He reached out and rubbed a hand over Carmelita’s belly. “All three of us.”


	13. A Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lyric prompt: "It's my life, if I'm gonna waste it, I wanna waste it on you"?

Carmelita‘s head bobbed as she fought sleep, it was late and she sat at her desk looking over her Cooper files. Her eyelids dragged closed and she struggled to sit straight forcing them open.

She let out a jaw cracking yawn and propped her chin on her fist,

Just another hour and she’d head home….

Just another hour…

When she opened her eyes again Sly Cooper was standing in her office looking at her corkboard, he looked over at her smiling.

“You know anyone else might think that you’re obsessed Inspector.” He said gesturing at her board covered with blurry photos of him.

“You’re obsessed.” Carmelita muttered back, she’d had this dream before. Usually there was more kissing involved.

“Ah I love our witty repartee Inspector.” He reached out and trailed the back of his hand over her cheek. “But I think you need to go to bed.”

Carmelita leaned into his touch, “mm are you going to take me then?” 

Sly drew his hand back, blinking in surprise.

Carmelita looked back at him and slowly it dawned on her that she was awake… and Sly Cooper really was in her office.

Her mouth fell open, and she groped for her pistol.

“It’s over there.” Sly motioned with his cane, Carmelita did indeed see her shock pistol on the other side of the room. “I took the liberty of emptying it.”

Carmelita’s gaze snapped back to Sly, “what are you doing here?”

“Hadn’t seen you in a while so I thought that I’d come check on you. You need a break Inspector.”

“You’re in my office.” Carmelita hissed.

“I am.”

“I…” He must have lost his mind, she looked toward the door. “I could have half of Interpol in here in literally thirty seconds.”

“You’re not going to do that.”

“Don’t you presume….”

“Let someone else have a crack at arresting me? You’re not going to do that.”

Carmelita’s gaze darted, he was right. Cooper was hers. Damned if she was going to let someone else take credit for his collar. “I hate you.”

Sly leant down bracing himself on the arms of her chair. “No you don’t.” He smirked. 

Carmelita wished she knew where her cuffs were. “I am going to arrest you.”

“Y’know Inspector I don’t think you are. I think that you enjoy the chase just as much as I do. If you caught me that would end, you don’t want that.”

Carmelita reached up and seized him by the collar of his shirt. “Don’t you presume to tell me what I want.” She snarled dragging him down, nose to nose with her.

Long ago words from relatives and colleagues, well meaning but stinging swum back to her, _‘are you really going to waste your life on this Carmelita?’_

She knew her mind, she made her choices. And she chose this. This life, this case.

This thief.

Still furious, her anger threatening to boil over she crashed Sly’s mouth down against hers.

Sly moaned kneeling above her on her chair.

It was a searing kiss all fire and need and teeth.

Full of a desperation born of bad decisions.

She reached up a hand to pull at Sly’s hair and she heard him groan in response.

_Carmelita Fox made her choices and she chose this_

And just as it was building, building into something too big to control Carmelita abruptly pushed Sly away, so hard he fell in a tangle of limbs on the floor. 

She stared at him, breathing hard, “get out.” She said.

Sprawled on the floor Sly stared at her wide eyed, “y..yeah.” He said. It perhaps now seemed to be dawning on him that this might have been a bad idea.

Carmelita turned away giving him a moment to slip out her open window, for once so cowed in the face of her anger that he had no snappy comeback, no desire to get the last word.

She took a deep breath and counted slowly to ten. Then she rose from her desk and turned out the lights.

Cooper had been right about one thing.

It was time to go home


	14. Hanging Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> galatic-dragoness asked prompt number 22 ("Did you just hiss at me?")

Sly bounded through the dark forest, half in half out of the trees as he ran. 

_Leap, branch, branch, touch the forest floor, jump, swing, higher, higher, down again, push off, trust your instincts, don’t look just go, go, go…_

Behind him was the familiar cry, “get back here Cooper.”

No time to stop, no time to flirt (unfortunately).

A blast from Carmelita’s pistol exploded against a nearby tree briefly lighting up the darkness, spectral blue trails curling and twisting as the energy dispersed leaving scorched bark in its wake.

The edge of the forest wasn’t in sight yet but it was getting close, Sly could feel it. He laughed, leaping from his branch, catching his cane on another branch swinging down to the leaf strewn ground and running to the next tree.

From behind there was a cry and Sly froze, perching on a branch, still for several dangerous seconds. Waiting, listening.

No more shots whizzed by him, Carmelita’s threats had died but there was a different sound, grunting and struggling and then another wordless cry.

Not pain, not fear. Frustration.

Sly looked toward his escape, his path clear, then back over his shoulder, the way he’d come.

Another frustrated shriek echoed off the trees.

Sighing Sly leapt back toward the sound.

 

Carmelita was hanging upside down from a tree, a snare trap caught around her ankle. Her shock pistol was on the ground far below her, she was thrashing and squirming trying to reach up to where she was caught.

Sly landed on the branch closest to Carmelita’s head. He laughed, reaching out he nudged her with his cane sending her swaying. “A little caught up Inspector?”

“Cooper!” Carmelita snarled, snatching for him.

“A bit late to be hanging around isn’t it? ” He pushed her again.

“ _Arrgh_.”

“Wait, wait I’ve got it. How nice of you to hang out here and wait for me.” 

Carmelita screeched at him.

“Okay, okay I’m done, let me get you down.” He climbed up the tree to the branch that she was tied to, below him Carmelita made a noise. “Did you just hiss at me?” Sly hooked his cane around the branch and hung upside down. “Calm down, I’m just trying to help. Do you have a knife Inspector?”

Carmelita just glared.

“Alrighty then.” He flipped himself back up onto the branch. 

“In my boot.” Carmelita said, she waved the foot that wasn’t caught. “There’s a penknife in my boot.”

Sly hopped back down to the branch nearest her and stretched, strained, Carmelita gave her foot a vigorous shake and a small folded knife fell into Sly’s outstretched hand. 

“Okay Inspector, let’s get you down.” He swarmed back up the tree. and began slowly sawing through the rope. A few cuts in he stopped. Oh, problem. If he untied her or cut the rope she would fall straight down… onto her head and it was a long way down.

“Wait Cooper.” Carmelita yelled, “You’re not just going to…?” She sounded more afraid than angry as clearly she’d had the same thought as Sly.

“Nope.” Sly yelled back. “Definitely not just going to cut straight through the rope. That’d be real dumb right? Ha ha.”

Back down again, he looked at the other branches measuring the distance. “I’m going to swing you again Inspector, see if you can grab this branch.” He reached out to her with his cane, Carmelita grabbed it and Sly pulled her toward himself. Balancing carefully so he didn’t fall himself Sly leant back as far as he dared trying to bring Carmelita as close as possible.

An awkward trust exercise. If she let go Sly would lose his counterbalance, if Sly let go she would be stuck here.

As she drew closer, Sly righted himself and Carmelita’s hand released his cane and scrabbled for the branch, fingernails scraping against the wood. Sly grabbed her arm guiding her and she finally wrapped both arms around it, taking her own weight.

“There we go that’s better isn’t it?” Sly petted Carmelita on the head, she snapped at him. Sly swiftly drew his hand back. “Right.” 

Up the tree again, he resumed cutting away the rope. It was almost cut through when the branch Carmelita was clinging to broke. 

Sly dropped his cane as he lunged for the rope with both hands. 

Carmelita gave a shout of surprise and Sly strained, the rope slipping against his gloves.

“No.” Sly grunted, he was strong but the weight of another person while he was perched precariously on a branch was too much. He did the only thing he could think, he threw himself backwards.

Carmelita yelled again as she was suddenly yanked upwards.

The two of them hung there, one on either side of the branch. Both of them swaying slightly. 

Sly panted, “are you alright?”

“I. Have. Been. Better.” Carmelita said through gritted teeth. She sighed, looking up at him. “Thank you.” She sighed. “For not letting me fall.”

“Of course.”

“Now what?” Carmelita asked. “And if you make another joke about ‘hanging out’ I will kill you.”

Sly considered that he could pull out his binocucom and call the guys for back up but he didn’t want to let go of the rope, they could both fall. “I don’t know.”

Carmelita curled in on herself and released using the momentum to swing toward Sly. She grabbed Sly’s shirt, pulling to try and right herself.

“Uhh…” Sly leaned his head away as she climbed up his body.

“Not one word Ringtail.” Carmelita growled, digging a booted foot into his shoulder. Grunting she reached for the branch above them, pulling herself onto it, the rope wrapped around the branch, stabilizing Sly were he hung. “Wooh.” Carmelita let out a breath settling against the trunk of the tree letting the blood drain out of her head. She looked down into the dark below them, “I’m guessing you dropped my pocket knife.”

“Sorry.”

“Better the knife than me.” She shrugged pulling at the snare around her ankle. “HA.” She crowed pulling it free. “Now how do we get down?”

Now that he didn’t need to hang in counterbalance, Sly jumped, parkouring onto a nearby branch. “I might be able to use my glider to get us down.”

Carmelita nodded, “okay…”

Sly leapt to her, trying to balance as delicately as possible, he didn’t want this branch to break too. He put out a hand, wobbling only slightly Carmelita stood on the branch with him. Sly wrapped an arm around her waist.

“Ready for a leap of faith ‘Lita?”

Carmelita ignored him, “on three?”

“On three.” Sly agreed.

They counted together then threw themselves from the tree. Sly deploying his glider to slow the fall, the glider wasn’t made for two but it was better than a plummet.

They crashed onto the leaves, rolling from the force of the fall. Sly flopped onto his back, one arm flung out.

Carmelita sat up, brushing herself down she got to her feet. “Thank you.” She said extending a hand to help Sly up.

“My pleasure.” Sly said. “Do you see my cane at all?”

Carmelita looked around, “it should be around here with my pistol.”

They cast about finding both Sly’s cane and Carmelita’s pistol had by some happenstance landing together in the leaves. Sly’s cane laying over Carmelita’s pistol the two items forming a sort of cross.

Carmelita picked up her pistol, clipping it to her belt. “It seems that my ankle was injured in that little…” She waved a hand. “Incident so unfortunately I don’t think I can keep running tonight.” She turned away.

Sly turned to run but first he seized Carmelita’s hand to kiss her fingers, “I’m glad you’re alright Inspector.”

Carmelita pulled her hand away, still not looking at him. “Ten.” She said out loud. “Nine…”

Smiling Sly leapt back up into the trees, disappearing into the night.


	15. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: “They’re gone.” From Carm to Sly about Bentley and Murray

Sly came to slowly, groggily. His head aching. “Bentley? Murray?” He croaked, lifting his head, eyes straining in the darkness.

“They’re gone.” A woman’s voice answered. “Don’t you remember?” 

As his eyes adjusted, his vision clearing of blurriness he saw Carmelita sitting across from him in much the same position, chained to a bench seat at the wrists and ankles.

Sly groaned, propping himself against the corner and the events of the last few days came back to him. The two of them were in the back of the Countessa’s prison van being transported through the heart of Prague.

Bentley had escaped capture but that also meant that he’d been left behind all alone in India.

But last time Sly had checked Murray had been in the van alongside him, now he was gone.

“Where’s Murray?” Sly looked around as though hoping his friend might appear from the shadows.

“I think they dropped him off.”

“I didn’t hear… how did I sleep through them taking Murray away?” 

“I think they drugged us.” Carmelita muttered.

Sly felt a tightness in his chest and a spinning sensation in his head. He was alone, he hadn’t been alone, hadn’t been without his brothers since… since…

_A sliver of light from the closet door, four large figures, his mother crying and his father screaming_.

Sly couldn’t breathe, the edges of his vision going dark. 

Alone.

Alone because he’d failed them.

“Cooper.” Carmelita called to him, “Cooper… Sly look at me, breathe for me.”

No, not alone. Carmelita was here, was with him as she always was when it counted.

Sly took a shaky breath, then another, staring at Carmelita across from him. Slowly pulling himself back together, “thank you.”

Carmelita looked away, grunting. He was not totally forgiven for India yet he supposed, fair enough.

Abruptly the swaying of the prison van stopped. Carmelita’s eyes flashed wide, almost fearful as she looked toward the doors. Sly swallowed, he wished vainly for his cane, where was his cane? They had taken it from in India, would he ever get it back? Had they kept it? Thrown it away? Was it sitting in an Interpol evidence locker somewhere? 

The doors opened and a handful of the Countessa’s vulture guards stood there idly looking between Sly and Carmelita and some paperwork one guard was disinteredly holding.

“Him.” The guard with the paperwork gestured to Sly.

“Just him?” Another asked craning to see the papers.

“Just him, Her Ladyship has him down to go in the hole.”

Sly and Carmelita exchanged a look, solitary confinement.

“Where are we taking her then?” A third guard grabbed for the paper.

The first yanked it out his reach, “ you take her across town, the Shadowguard will relieve you and take her to the tower.”

Sly shot another look at Carmelita, he didn’t know quite what any of that meant but none of those words sounded good.

Their argument done two guards jumped up into the van and grabbed Sly by the arms, unshackling him and dragging him out.

“Sly!” Carmelita yelled, “don’t let her beat you Don’t let her win.”

“Shut up.” One of the guards climbed up, a baton raised threateningly.

“They’ll come for you.” She craned her neck to keep looking at him as the doors of the van began to close.

“No.” Sly fought against the hands restraining him as they pulled him away. Carmelita was right, Bentley was still out there, was still free. Sly couldn’t give up, his brother would come for him.

He just had to wait.


	16. Crazy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: prompt “I swear, I’m not crazy!!!” involving Carmelita's time at the rehabilitation center in Prague.

At first Carmelita thought that she could talk her way out this, be honest, explain that there had been a misunderstanding and she’d be out of this mess and back to Paris.

But the longer she was here, the more she saw the less faith she had in that happening.

When she was a rookie she’d gone to several of Interpol’s prisons to observe how the booking and intake processes went, so that she could be familiar with the system, so if there was ever a clerical error along the line she understand it, maybe know how to fix it. 

And everything about how she, Sly and Murray had been treated raised red flags, Carmelita knew this wasn’t the way things were done. 

Ever.

 

There was a Women’s facility in Prague as well as a Men’s both under the Wardenship of the Countessa but Carmelita was not taken there. After the guards had pulled a strangely docile Murray and a still injured Sly out of the van at the Men’s facility Carmelita had been driven across Prague to the Countessa’s estate.

The van stopped before the heavy wrought iron gates and the doors were flung open.

Carmelita tried to peer out into the cold, grey rain. “What’s going on?” She demanded.

“Prisoners don’t ask questions.” The guard snapped at her.

“That’s ridiculous. This isn’t the prison, why am I here?”

“Because Her Esteemed Ladyship would like a private word with you Inspector.” A new voice cut in smoothly. A vulture wearing a spiked helmet and carrying a lantern approached, he wore a sash of rank and rain rolled off his feathers.

The guards who had brought Carmelita thus far bowed their heads drawing away.

“The Countessa wants to talk?” Carmelita said incredulously. She certainly hadn’t been willing to listen to Carmelita in India but some time had passed, maybe she’d reflected.

The vulture glowered. “You had best remember to address Her Ladyship with proper respect when you see her.” He turned away, raising his lantern. “This is her home after all. Bring her.”

Two more vultures loomed out the darkness pulling Carmelita by the arms toward the rain soaked gothic manor.

* * *

_Show her proper respect, show her proper respect Carmelita’s TAIL!_

Carmelita paced around the small cell she’d been left in, the chain around her ankle shackling her to the wall rattled and clanked noisily. 

A skittering of legs against the stone floor heralded the Countessa’s arrival, “ah Inspector Fox, I see you have settled in.”

Carmelita lunged for the glass front of the cell but the chain stopped her short. “Countessa Pavouk.”She said trying to remain calm. “You must know I don’t belong here.”

“Do I? Would you prefer to be in with the general population, with criminals who you locked up? I am doing you a favour Inspector.” 

“That’s not what I meant, Neyla set me up. She’s a liar, can’t you see that?” 

The Countessa made a thoughtful noise. “Interesting.” She produced a small voice recorder. “Subject assumes others share her beliefs in versions of events.”

Carmelita paled. “No. I mean… you… you know me. You’ve seen my work, you know I’m honest, that I’m clean.”

The Countessa shook her head. “I thought that but then I was presented with evidence that caused me doubt. Are you saying I should have eschewed due process simply because I _know_ you? By that argument I know Neyla too, why are you more worthy of belief than she is? Neyla was the one with the photograph after all.”

“I told you I didn’t know I was dancing with Cooper.”

The Countessa pulled out her recorder again, “subject claims no recognition of international criminal that she has been hunting for obsessively four years. See in report photographic evidence example one.”

“That’s not fair.” Carmelita yelled. “Neyla danced with him too, I saw her. That was how she set me up.”

“Mm? Is that so?” The Countessa said in a tone that implied that she did not believe Carmelita at all. “That’s quite a little narrative that you have constructed for yourself Inspector. So did Neyla not recognise Sly Cooper? Thus supporting your argument that you did not recognise him or is it that Neyla _did_ recognise him and used that recognition to set you up? In that case you still claim that you didn’t recognise a criminal that all of Interpol knows you have a particular obsession with when you were nose to nose with him?”

“I… I…” Carmelita swallowed.

That damn photo was in the Countessa’s hand, “as I said in India, the two of you look very intimate.” She looked at Carmelita one eyebrow cocked. “And I have read in your file about the incident in Russia.”

“That was… that was…”

“Subject denies collusion with criminal that she clearly experiences physical attraction to.”

“I am not attracted to Sly Cooper.”

“Subject is clearly experiencing intense self-denial.” The Countessa said. “Now Inspector I have been tasked with giving you a mental assessment to be submitted to Interpol in regards to your actions of late. Unfortunately I have other business to see to first, new inmates to screen and all that. I hope you don’t mind waiting for a little while, enjoy our wonderful Czech hospitality and I will be back so we can…” And her smile was needle sharp and terrifying. “Chat.”

Carmelita fell back a step from the glass, watching as the Countessa turned away. “Countessa.” Carmelita pulled against her chain. “I’m not crazy, I swear I’m not crazy, I was framed. I’m a good cop.”

“That my remains to be seen my dear Inspector. That remains to be seen.” And the skittering of her feet retreated. 

And Carmelita was left alone.


	17. Visiting Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prowl-mun asked: Prompt “What’s the matter, sweetie?” that involves Neyla visiting Carmelita in prison.

Carmelita’s tail thrashed back and forth as she paced, it had been weeks since she’d been dumped in this tiny, solitary cell for her ‘protection’ and days since the Countessa had been back to check on her.

The damned chain on her ankle clanked loudly and maddeningly as she moved. 

Carmelita paused in the middle of the cell to let out a frustrated scream.

“What’s the matter sweetie? You sound so upset.”

Carmelita lunged for the glass front of her cell, she knew that voice. “Neyla.” She hissed.

“Hello Carmelita.” A smirking Neyla slunk into view. “I’d ask how you are but if you’re screeching at nothing I suppose that answers that question.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I can’t come to visit a friend who’s down on her luck?” Neyla cocked a hip, her tail swishing idly behind her. She reached out her claws, _tick, tick, ticking_ against the glass. “I like this look on you, very Hannibal Lector.”

“We are not friends.” Carmelita growled pulling so hard against her chain that the shackle was cutting into her ankle.

Neyla sighed withdrawing her hand, “no I suppose we aren’t.” 

“So why are you here?”

Neyla pulled out a folder from under her arm and delicately removed a sheet of paper. “You know there was a jail break recently?”

Carmelita scowled.

“I’m surprised that you’re still here you know, considering who the target of the jail break was. Going through a rough patch with your boyfriend? Is that why he left you here to rot?” Neyla raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Carmelita snapped. Sly was out, Neyla had been foolish not to look for Bentley in India. Carmelita had seen the lengths the Cooper Gang would go to for each other, really it could only have been a matter of time before the three of them would reunite.

“Mmhm.” Neyla hummed. “Anyway when Sly and his gang member broke out, a number of other prisoners escaped. Some locals got to those before the Countessa’s guards managed to round them up and well there was some very frightening implications of mistreatment there. So I was sent with this lovely, shiny warrant to look around and make sure that Interpol isn’t handing prisoners over to a sociopath.” She held the paper up to the glass.

It was indeed a warrant.

It made Carmelita’s blood boil to think anyone at Interpol had let someone who was clearly as crooked and dishonest as Neyla lead an investigation.

“Are you going to frame the Countessa too?”

“Oh I hardly think I need to. She’s done for when I get back to Paris to present my evidence. And I found a great deal of it, I also found this.” She tucked the paper away and held up the whole folder. “It’s a psychiatric evaluation of you. I mean it’s not going to be worth much but it should at least be good for a laugh when I pass it around the office.”

Carmelita snarled, still pulling against the chain.

Ignoring her Neyla flipped open the folder. “Subject is believed to be paranoid delusional, claims innocence in the face of evidence and believes a wider conspiracy had framed her.” Neyla’s gaze flicked up to leer at Carmelita. “Subject most definitely possesses a psycho-sexual obssession with the individual known as Sly Cooper.” Neyla laughed, “and in other news water is wet, hmm Carmelita?”

Carmelita was going to kill them both, she wished vainly that she had a chair or something in her cell that wasn’t bolted down to smash against the glass.

“Ooh ooh, here’s a good one. Subject is prone to intense aggression and anger even without administration of spice.”

Spice? The spice that Rajan produced? The spice that Dimitri dealt in his club? The Klaww Gang’s spice?

The Countessa was part of the Klaww Gang.

Her surprise must have shown on her face because Neyla gave a sickly, sympathetic smile, “oh? Did you not know?” And the smile turned predatory. “ _I did_.” She tucked the file back under her arm. “Oh you know what the other thing I saw in the Countessa’s files was?” Her head cocked, still smiling. “It lists you as an escapee in the that jailbreak… no one knows you’re here.”

Carmelita went cold.

“Well I’m sure visiting hours are well and truly up so I’d better hop along. Goodbye Carmelita, I do hope you get the help you need.” She started to turn away.

“You won’t get away with this Neyla, I won’t be in here for forever. I’ll get you for this.” Carmelita yelled, she could feel blood trickling down her ankle. "I'll get you."

Her only response was the echoing sound of Neyla’s laughter as the tigress retreated down the stairs.

And Carmelita was alone again.


	18. Overheard, overhead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thefriedcomputercollectorblr asked: prompt number 20 "things you said that I wasn’t meant to hear" for Sly and Carmelita?

Sly hissed softly between his teeth, cops everywhere.This was seriously going to hamper his escape plan, he hadn’t expected so many police to come swarming about so quickly.

Crouched on a beam near the top of the museum’s ceiling Sly called upon a Cooper technique from The Theivius Raccoonus to draw shadows around himself, holding perfectly still and blending into the darkness.

Hopefully he could find a quiet moment in all the confusion to slip away.

A loud voice cut through the chaos below and Sly couldn’t help but smile, his favourite member of law enforcement had arrived on the scene.

“I want this place on lockdown, Cooper can’t have gotten far… if he’s managed to get away at all yet. Keep your eyes peeled. What are you looking at me for you have your orders, go.” Carmelita Fox strode through the museum yelling at uniforms and the hapless museum security who were still milling about.

Men and women went scuttling to do as she said and in a moment only Carmelita and young blue furred mouse in a neat grey suit remained in the corridor.

“Do you really think Cooper is still in the building Inspector?” The mouse asked.

“Perhaps Sergeant.” Carmelita said looking around herself. “There’s always the chance but unfortunately Cooper is too skilled to make the mistake of hanging around after he’s completed a heist.”

Normally this would be the perfect time for Sly to leave but he hesitated, he was interested to see if Carmelita was going to keep saying nice things about him.

The Sergeant’s head bobbed as he nodded, “would you like me to start the background check on the owner of the stolen piece Inspector?”

“Yes, thank you Jacques.” Carmelita sighed. “Maybe there’ll be some salvaging this night.”

“It’s an interesting pattern isn’t it Inspector that all of Cooper’s victims are in turn criminals themselves.”

“He has a code of honour, or at least he believes he does. I’m not sure if that makes my job easier or harder some days.”

The Sergeant flipped open his notebook, pen poised ready to write and he paused, “oh… it seems my wife has left another note for you Inspector.” He turned the pad toward Carmelita.

Curious Sly reached for his binocucom zooming in to see if he could see for himself, as Sly moved the Sergeant froze, one ear raised, his neatly groomed whiskers twitching.

“Jacques?”

Jacques eyes darted behind his glasses, then his tense posture relaxed. “Hmm sorry Inspector I thought I heard…”

Carmelita looked around again. “No, it’s alright Jacques. I trust your ears.”

Sly paused, wondering if he should risk moving further, the mouse clearly had very good hearing. He still might be able to get away if he ran now… or he could risk a peek at that notebook.

Sly leant forward slightly adjusting the zoom. 

There was a note written in neat, flowing script.

_Carm, call Michel! You’ll like him I promise_ then a phone number.

Sly wasn’t sure whether he was annoyed or amused, who was trying to set Carmelita up with random guys and who was Michel? What kind of name was that? The guy sounded like a drag.

“I guess it was nothing Inspector.” Jacques murmured.

“Perhaps.” Carmelita said. “What does you wife have to say to me?” She leaned over to read the note. “Oh Vi.” She sighed. “I know she means well but I told her no more blind dates with your friends, the last one went so badly.”

Carmelita dated??!?!? 

That was news to Sly.

“It did?”

“I’ll spare you the sordid details Sergeant.” Carmelita shook her head. “Suffice to say it was not a fun evening.”

Sly could only imagine, it took a special kind of man to keep up with Carmelita Fox, a man like him for example.

“I’ll have a word to her.”

“Thank you Jacques, tell her I’ve only got room for one man in my life at the moment and that’s Cooper.”

Sly nearly fell off the beam, oh he was going to use that against her in the near future. He wobbled, as he righted himself his cane clanged against the metal support of the beam.

Beneath him both Carmelita and Jacques looked straight up.

Carmelita’s mouth opened and Sly had the distinct pleasure of watching her blush as she realised he’d heard every word she’d said.

“COOOPERRR.” She yelled

Jacques, the Sergeant was radioing for back up but Sly was already on the move, Carmelita chasing after him firing pot shots up at the roof. One such shot shattered one of the skylights.

Jacques grabbed the end of Carmelita’s jacket pulling her back from the rain on glass. Sly raced along his beam and jumped out the jagged hole. 

Turning back briefly he blew a kiss, “for what it’s worth Inspector you’re the only woman in my life too.”

And ignoring her increasingly rage filled screams Sly vanished across the rooftops.


	19. The Water in Egypt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked:
> 
> I was wondering, could we get a ficlet of the gang finding Sly at last, only to discover he’s dead? Only if you allow the angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow Anon. Wow, okay.  
> Here we go...

It had been the longest year of Carmelita Fox’s life, months of tears and stress and searching. Of endless days and sleepless nights, of frustration and fear and a gnawing, growing sense of hopelessness. But now it was so nearly over.

Carmelita watched Bentley gently unwrap the ancient kopesh (she had tactfully decided not press about how he had obtained it).

“You’re sure this will take us to him?” She asked.

“If I’ve done my math right.” Bentley nodded. “This will take us to exactly when Sly was dropped in Egypt.”

“Good.” Carmelita stared at the sword, an odd thing to rest all your hopes on. A weapon. But perhaps it was fitting, she thought looking at the curved blade that reminded her so much of Sly’s cane. She climbed up into the van. “Are we ready?”

“The Murray is as ready as he’ll ever be.” Murray, already strapped into the driver’s seat slammed a fist against his open palm. “Let’s bring Sly home.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself Big Guy.” Bentley fiddled with a dial. “We’re good here. Punch it Murray.”

Murray threw a lever on the dash. “Hang onto your lunches guys. Next stop the past.”

The van began to pick up speed, Carmelita held onto her seat and closed her eyes against the flash of light that heralded a jump.

The three of them were on their way.

They were going to bring Sly home.

The desert sands of Egypt sprawled before them, on the distant horizon Carmelita could see the pyramids, gleaming white and brand new under the sun. A few hundred yards off from where the van had landed was what looked like a stand of small, square houses made of mud brick.

“I’m not picking up a signal from Sly’s binocucom.” Bentley muttered, his own was in his hands and he was flicking through read out screens.

“Maybe the battery is flat?” Murray suggested.

“It shouldn’t be… I built the battery packs in these to last y’know. Hmmm…” He hummed for a minute. “Maybe it broke?”

“Maybe.” Carmelita said as she looked at the houses. Cooper hunting 101: find the high ground. “I guess we’ll just have to find him the old fashioned way.” She pointed. “I think if I get up on top of those houses I’ll be able to get a pretty good look at the area.”

Bentley tucked his bincocucom away. “Good idea Inspector.”

It didn’t take much to get up on the rooftops. 

Murray waiting below had given Carmelita his binocucom to use. She pulled it out to scan the surroundings and almost immediately realised that she didn’t need it.

“Guys?” Carmelita said. “I think I know where Sly is.”

“You do? That was quick.”

“Yeah, looks like he left us a pretty big calling card.”

On top of one of the houses was the stylised image of a raccoon face.

Sly’s insignia.

Carmelita was already running. “I’ll meet you at the front door.” She said.

“Roger Carmelita, tracking your position.”

The flat, close rooftops made for a short dash and Carmelita leapt down in front of the little house.

The door to the house was open and there was a young black hat sweeping and humming absently in the doorway. She dropped her broom, mouth open in shock at Carmelita’s sudden appearance.

“Sorry.” Carmelita said holding up both hands. “Sorry I don’t meant to frighten you but I’m looking for someone…”

Blinking, eyes wide the girl turned back over shoulder calling into the house. “Grandmother, Grandmother they’re here. Grandmother it’s them!” She looked past Carmelita at the approaching figures of Bentley and Murray. “I never thought… I… didn’t think… Oh.” She gave a little gasp. “Forgive me.” She stepped aside. “Please come in.”

“You were expecting us?” Carmelita asked, slowly stepping inside. 

“Grandmother certainly has been.” The girl answered.

The interior of the house was small, Carmelita could see two other rooms leading off the main space. A small cooking fire burned in the grate and another black cat, sat at the low central table. This one was older, her sun-bleached hair and fur lightening to grey and her face weathered by the years looked up at Carmelita with an expectant fondness, like she was about to greet an old friend.

“You must be Carmelita. Please sit.”

“I am.” Carmelita said. At a loss for anything else to do Carmelita sat, mirroring the old cat’s position.

“Miriam was right. It really is you. Are Bentley and Murray with you?”

“They are, they’re right behind me.”

“They’re coming now Grandmother.” Miriam said from the doorway.

Well, they were certainly in the right place. “You know about us?”

“Of course, Sly spoke of you often. But I think perhaps explanations should wait until you are all here.”

Carmelita supposed Sly must have stayed here for a time, told some stories, probably flirted with Miriam. How long had he been gone? She wondered, how much of a headstart did he have this time?

A confused Bentley and Murray were ushered in.

“Where’s Sly?” Murray asked.

“Not here anymore I don’t think.” Carmelita said.

The old cat beckoned to her granddaughter and whispered something, Miriam nodded retreating to one of the other rooms.

“Well now.” The cat looked at them each in turn her eyes crinkling. “To think I would finally get to meet you all. I should have known really, Sly always said you would come. I am Esther.”

The boys murmured polite hellos.

“I am glad you are here, I am glad that I can finally give you this. He wanted you three to have it.” Esther offered them a gentle, slightly sad smile.

Miriam reemerged carrying something delicately wrapped in cotton. She laid it on the table.

“He used to say…” Esther continued, “that one day you would come but if you did not then my children’s children and their children too should keep this and maybe one day take it to Paris. The place from his stories. But you are here now. This is as it should be.” She unwrapped the bundle.

Sly’s cane lay on the table before them.

Carmelita went cold, Sly would never leave his cane behind. She looked at Esther. “I don’t understand… where is he?” 

Esther’s smile faded, “oh child.” She said softly, pityingly. “I am sorry… I thought you knew… I thought you would have known… he has died.”

“Dead?” Bentley choked out. “When? How?”

Carmelita braced herself, trying to stay upright. It couldn’t be right, it had to be a mistake, a trick… something. She looked at the cane on the table, it was no fake, it was definitely Sly’s cane. Older and more battered but definitely his. 

“He passed shortly after the last harvest.” Miriam explained. “He was so old, I think it was a blessing.”

“He was… he was what?” Bentley didn’t sound like he was processing any better than Carmelita.

“Old.” The girl repeated. “Older than Grandmother.”

“How… how is that possible?” Carmelita looked at Bentley.

“There… there must have been an error when I was carbon dating the kopesh… I don’t… I’ve…” Bentley dragged his hands down his face.

Murray meanwhile had picked up Sly’s cane and was cradling it across the palms of his large hands. “How long was he here?” He asked softly.

“Many years.” Esther confirmed. “All my life at least. My mother found him wandering in the desert and she brought him home. When she married my father a few years later, my father adopted Sly as his brother so that Sly could remain as part of the household. He was our uncle, he doted on my siblings and I. I think he may have had a particular soft spot for me, perhaps that was because I never stopped believing his wonderful stories.

Carmelita couldn’t breathe. Decades. Sly had been alone here for years. A full generation. How lonely he must have been. Had he waited and waited day after day for the three of them and they had never come. Had he felt forgotten? Abandoned?

“Was he happy?” Murray asked, sniffling.

“I think he was.” Esther nodded. “I know he missed all of you, he spoke of you often and with such love but I think he grew to love us too. This became his home, he was a hero to many of us. There was a famine when I was a girl, the local priests had grown corrupt and claimed the poor harvest was a sign of displeasure from their gods and refused to lend aid. Sly stole from the temple granaries, he kept our whole valley fed. He saved us all that year.”

“That sounds like Sly.” Bentley croaked out.

“I am sorry, truly I am.”

“Thank you.” Carmelita said rising. “We should… we should go.”

“Carmelita?” Murray looked at her.

“Are you sure child? You may stay here if you require rest and you are welcome to break bread with us. It is the least we can do.”

Carmelita shook her head, she needed to get outside, needed to _leave_. “No thank you. We should… we should go.”

Esther nodded, “as you will. I wish you a safe journey home.”

As Carmelita stumbled outside she heard Murray thank the old woman, for taking care of Sly.

Carmelita walked across the sand as far as she could from the house until her knees gave way and she collapsed to all fours. They were too late, too late, he was gone. They’d failed. No, no, no, no.

“Carmelita?” Bentley called, his modded wheelchair moving quickly over the sand.

Carmelita took a deep breath, getting back to her feet. “We have to find him.” She said.

Bentley shook his head, looking up at her. “I… I don’t know how… This is all my fault.. he’s gone…”

“What good is a time machine if we can’t change that? We need to go back and find him sooner. The kopesh wasn’t what we needed so we find something else here. Surely we can find a… pot or some jewellery or… or something that was made within the last few decades and then we go back and we find Sly before all this happens.” She flung out an arm.

“You… you’re right.” Bentley took off his glasses to wipe his streaming eyes. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Guys…” Murray said quietly. “Are you sure?”

“What do you mean?” Carmelita demanded.

“Sly was happy here, he had a life. He was part of a family.” He was looking at Sly’s cane still in his hands.

“We’re his family.” Bentley interrupted. He put his glasses back on and raised his chin. “Carmelita’s right. We just need to try again and this time we’ll get it right.”


End file.
